A conversation every parent needs to have with their teenager — before they need it.
You don't need a perfect moment. You just need to have the conversation.
Every teenager should have a way to tell their parents, "I need help," without having to explain it in front of friends, from the back seat of a car, or while feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable, or scared.
Set up a code word.
Agree on a phrase right now — something only the two of you know that sounds completely normal in a text message. Something like:
"Hey Mom, did you feed the dog?"
To everyone else, it means nothing. To you, it means: I need you to come get me.
No questions asked. No lecture in the car. No discussion that night. Just get them home safely.
Pick the word together. Mean it. And if they use it, keep your promise.
The code word isn't just for drinking and driving. It's for any situation where something feels wrong, unsafe, or simply uncomfortable. Maybe the driver has been drinking. Maybe friends are using drugs. Maybe the party is getting out of control. Maybe your child just wants out.
Whatever the circumstance, the message should be the same: if your instincts tell you something isn't right, get out and call home.
And because alcohol is one of the most common factors in serious teenage accidents, every family should have a direct conversation about drinking and driving.
Don't drive after drinking. Ever. Not a little. Not just down the block. The rule has no exceptions: do not get behind the wheel after drinking any alcohol.
Don't get in the car with someone who has been drinking either. Even if they say they're fine. Even if everyone else is getting in. Feeling fine and being fine are not the same thing.
And if they ever find themselves in that situation? Give them the words before they need them:
"I really need to use the bathroom, can you pull over?"
"I think I'm going to be sick, please let me out."
It doesn't matter if it's true. Getting out safely is all that matters.
Most teenagers will never need the code word.
But if they ever do, you'll be glad you had the conversation before they needed it.
And if you get that call or text — don't be mad. Not that night.
The call you get at midnight is so much better than the one you don't.
— Awareness, a Project Connect Series · www.projectconnect18.com · info@projectconnect18.com